Wednesday, April 19, 2006
My ex and I have been dividing up our personal belongings in preparation for our divorce. The photos have been very difficult for me. I'm hoping that she will look at them some day and realize what a great thing we had for our 13 year marriage. Any suggestions on how to get through this photo process with minimal pain?
Whoa there! Put those pictures down, immediately. That's radioactive material. I was in EXACTLY the same spot you were when going through my divorce - only we were married for just under six years. I had a hard enough time going through books and CDs, but the photos put me over the edge. Put them away, and deal with them down the road. It was about a year before I could look at photos of us without going through a meltdown.
If she wants to have the pictures divided up so badly before you part ways, then let her do it. Rehashing all the happy memories that you once had, will only lead to some serious gloom. Yes, you're going to miss the vacations, the random memories that those snapshots will rekindle. Yes, you will feel incomplete, if you haven't moved out of the house yet (or if she's the one moving) then your divorce is very fresh. Don't make it harder on yourself.
When I moved out of the house, I spent a few hours each day packing up my belongings. I could only do that in small doses. Not the photos, though. You're going through some tough times right now, the emotional rollercoaster with no end in sight. Don't make matters worse by reliving the past - not at this time, but maybe down the road.
My ex still has our wedding album, obviously I'm not interested in the pictures of us, but of me with other people at the wedding. We talked about dividing them up at a later date. It's been over three years, and all the great pictures and memories are still in my head. I don't care if I ever see that album again, and I recently discarded the wedding video tape I found in an old box. I didn't have to think twice about it.
Whoa there! Put those pictures down, immediately. That's radioactive material. I was in EXACTLY the same spot you were when going through my divorce - only we were married for just under six years. I had a hard enough time going through books and CDs, but the photos put me over the edge. Put them away, and deal with them down the road. It was about a year before I could look at photos of us without going through a meltdown.
If she wants to have the pictures divided up so badly before you part ways, then let her do it. Rehashing all the happy memories that you once had, will only lead to some serious gloom. Yes, you're going to miss the vacations, the random memories that those snapshots will rekindle. Yes, you will feel incomplete, if you haven't moved out of the house yet (or if she's the one moving) then your divorce is very fresh. Don't make it harder on yourself.
When I moved out of the house, I spent a few hours each day packing up my belongings. I could only do that in small doses. Not the photos, though. You're going through some tough times right now, the emotional rollercoaster with no end in sight. Don't make matters worse by reliving the past - not at this time, but maybe down the road.
My ex still has our wedding album, obviously I'm not interested in the pictures of us, but of me with other people at the wedding. We talked about dividing them up at a later date. It's been over three years, and all the great pictures and memories are still in my head. I don't care if I ever see that album again, and I recently discarded the wedding video tape I found in an old box. I didn't have to think twice about it.
