Monday, April 10, 2006
Lately, I’ve been up at 2 am, thinking about all the bad stuff that happened to me towards the end of my marriage. It usually starts off with happy thoughts, then goes bad. I’m not sure what to do, how can I clear my mind so I can get some sleep?
What you need to do is stop thinking about your ex. The good memories give way to some of the bad events that happened to you during or after your marriage. So, put them away for now until a later time.
How do you do that? For me, I found that when my mind started running away, the negative thoughts fed on each other. What started as a memory of minor fight, quickly turned to some of the more hurtful things that destroyed our relationship. Memory is something like an old vinyl, LP record. Recorded on it are the collective memories of our life.
When the needle gets to the bad part, it's hard to get out of that segment. Scratch the record. Think about something else at random. Pottery class, who you voted for as class president in high school, try to name every album your favorite rock group ever made - even it was Abba.
The concept here it that you are shaking your brain (metaphorically), and are trying to get it to think about something else. When your brain starts down that endless slide of despair, you're getting mentally hysterical. So, slap yourself around (again, metaphorically) and snap out of it.
It's kind of like a bad dream - you yell, scream, try to get your leg to kick so you wake up. Only when you are wide awake at 2am, you are in complete control, even if it doesn’t feel like it. I've even had to get out of bed to do some pushups, something to burn off the nervous energy. Take control of your thoughts, put on the brakes to your negative memories, and district your brain with random, unconnected and often times silly thoughts. It's the adult equivalent of dangling keys in front of new born. Since most of us resort to our same, childish emotions when we go through a crisis (temper tantrums, stubbornness, fussiness) then use the same childish techniques to get you out of it.
Hanging a Mickey Mouse Mobile off your rear view mirror isn't recommended, just from a safety point of view.
What you need to do is stop thinking about your ex. The good memories give way to some of the bad events that happened to you during or after your marriage. So, put them away for now until a later time.
How do you do that? For me, I found that when my mind started running away, the negative thoughts fed on each other. What started as a memory of minor fight, quickly turned to some of the more hurtful things that destroyed our relationship. Memory is something like an old vinyl, LP record. Recorded on it are the collective memories of our life.
When the needle gets to the bad part, it's hard to get out of that segment. Scratch the record. Think about something else at random. Pottery class, who you voted for as class president in high school, try to name every album your favorite rock group ever made - even it was Abba.
The concept here it that you are shaking your brain (metaphorically), and are trying to get it to think about something else. When your brain starts down that endless slide of despair, you're getting mentally hysterical. So, slap yourself around (again, metaphorically) and snap out of it.
It's kind of like a bad dream - you yell, scream, try to get your leg to kick so you wake up. Only when you are wide awake at 2am, you are in complete control, even if it doesn’t feel like it. I've even had to get out of bed to do some pushups, something to burn off the nervous energy. Take control of your thoughts, put on the brakes to your negative memories, and district your brain with random, unconnected and often times silly thoughts. It's the adult equivalent of dangling keys in front of new born. Since most of us resort to our same, childish emotions when we go through a crisis (temper tantrums, stubbornness, fussiness) then use the same childish techniques to get you out of it.
Hanging a Mickey Mouse Mobile off your rear view mirror isn't recommended, just from a safety point of view.
