Thursday, March 23, 2006
My wife wants a divorce, but wants to stay friends. I don't hate her, but it's not what I want and I feel guilty for that.
You don't wish that person ill - as you say, but you don't want to be their friend either. My ex wanted to maintain a friendship after the divorce. I couldn't do that, and it's not right or wrong it’s just how I feel. It just is.
I respect that she made a decision - that she has a right to exist on this planet - that she has a right to pursue her own happiness. However, I want no part of her life. I don't ever want to see her again, and all my mutual friends know not to bring up her name when I am with them. There's no hate or malice - but live and let live.
The last words I said to her when I moved out of the house were - Have a nice life. I meant it then and I do now. The word for that is: apathy.
If you want to remain friends with her, that is your decision. But the right answer is the one that works for you, despite what anyone else thinks. Just as I would agree that her wanting to divorce me was the right decision for her. She was unhappy with me, she made the change that she was convinced would make her happy.
I wish her the best of luck with that.......as long as she leaves me alone. Obviously for you, there needs to be a sense of decency for the sake of the children. However, that doesn’t require you to focus on rebuilding a friendship aspect.
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I haven't had a conversation with my X in over 3 years. The last words spoken were in front of a loan officer as I paid him out of our home.
My theory is that if we could have been friends, we'd still be married.
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My theory is that if we could have been friends, we'd still be married.
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