Tuesday, March 14, 2006
My wife and I are going through divorce mediation. We have two kids, and I don't know where to start on all this stuff.
Sorry for what you are going through. It looks like you've made the decision to go forward with a divorce. This is a very important determination. I've heard too many stories where one or both people go back and forth between working it out, or going their separate ways.
This first step is very important, and you've crossed that boundary. Now, there's the emotional aspect to contend with, which is usually overwhelming. Expect that you won't have all the answers. A lot of my anxiety came from the fact that I couldn't solve everything that I was going through, all at once.
Figure out what you need to accomplish right now. These are just a few examples of issues that you have to address: Separating your personal belongings, figuring out how to create a sense of safety and love for your children, who will live in your current house and who will move? Work on them, find answers, and move on. But take it slow, don't try to handle too much, too soon.
It's easy to see defeat everywhere, but by dividing up your issues into smaller, more manageable ones, you can find a way to resolve them more efficiently.
A guy walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza for himself. The chef asks him if he wants it cut into four slices or eight. The man replies, four, there's no way I could eat eight slices.
Best of luck to you.
